外公

我媽媽是外省小孩
他在逃難到台灣途中出生的
能到台灣是因為我外公是軍人

我沒有看過我外公

我1984年，我媽35歲時出生時，我外公已經過世十年了

時年54歲


沒看過他

從小倒是常聽到我媽講他們家裡故事
到加拿大也會聽我阿姨說一些

據說

他是個嚴肅的人
心情常常不好
小朋友都很怕他

可是他是個孝順的人
他的媽媽沒有來台灣
可是我外婆的媽媽有
他對她是畢恭畢敬
事她至孝

他五十四歲時死於糖尿病
生前時常心情不好
會喝酒
會哭
所以可以說是憂鬱而死

在看大江大海之前
我對於他的人生就僅止於這些媽媽和阿姨的口頭傳述

看了之後
才知道
他其實也是裡面的主角之一
十幾歲就去打仗
來台灣的時候來不及回家接媽媽
沒想到一生的後面三十幾年，
就沒有再見過家園
也沒有再見過媽媽

他說不定也有一雙草鞋
或是想對母親說的話

也許他就是這樣才會對我太婆婆至孝

他們的時代，出生在大陸。
能夠有這樣的際遇可能算是好命

可是，在大時代的驅使下
他可以選擇嗎?

在加拿大的時候
我其實不太確定我是誰
加拿大人?
台灣人?
中國人?
可能覺得自己很優越
因為喝過洋墨水

其實到頭來
我就是一個中國人，一個華人
有四分之一的血是這個被時代折磨的男人傳下來的

他們的人生進展到我們的人生
感覺毫不相關
卻又連著血管裡血液密密結合

我更了解我是誰了
感謝龍應台

我也慶幸我現在有機會選擇我的人生

希望這些時代的悲劇永遠不再發生

可是，
這些悲劇在世界各地還是不斷發生

我們能做什麼??





 For my 外公 , whom I have never met.                                                   Mar 16/10

±2℃/正負2度C

各位鄉親父老兄弟姊妹
我們不能再漠視地球暖化這個問題了
傷害地球環境這麼多年
最後傷害的只是我們自己

http://mepopedia.com/?page=394

看看這些短片
想像一下我們未來可能要面對的困境
再冷漠下去
等我四十歲的時候
可能就要當氣候難民了 (小弟今年二十有六單身!!!)

到時候
住在台北的人，就跟住在小林村的人一樣
或者更慘 (因為水不會退)

可是我覺得身旁的人沒有很關心這件大事
叫大家一起跟我去報名志工也不踴躍

http://正負2度c.tw (加入志工!!)

氣候變遷已經是一件無比重要的大事，
如果海平面繼續上升，台灣是全世界最早受影響的國家之一
我們不只需要關注
更要開始行動
不只是從個人
更要將這個議題提升到國家層級

因為除了個人可以做的事之外
我們需要更嚴厲的法則來限制產業排放溫室氣體
需要用法律提供各行各業各層級轉型綠色企業更多的誘因

身為個人我們不只要將行動訴諸政府
也要以行動反映我們的需求給大企業

再不行動....我可能在討到老婆前就成為氣候難民了...而大家以後也看不到台北市了...



PS: 另一個值得參加的活動 www.civictaipei.org/activity/meat/183.html
由龍應台文化基金會舉辦

I LOVE YOU Philip Morris

Watched this crazy movie yesterday.

Donno what to say.

Not to sure how to categorize this movie.

Romance? Comedy? Suspense? Drama?

It is them all, yet not quite so.

The movie has a lot of dicks, many referrings to sucking the dicks, calling people faggots a lot.

I love the humour in it. And I am made uncomfortable by the performance of affection shown in the movie.


It is just TOOO GAY!

With Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey, it is tooooo GAY.


I like it when Jim Carrey says "I am gonna live my life! I am a faggot! I am gonna be a fucking faggot!"

I like how candor this movie goes sexually.

It is just way tooo funny and way toooo gay.

Back For Good, by Take That

Haven't been able to write up something concrete lately.

Not because I am starting to get numb and stop having feelings and thoughts, but I was preoccupied.

Then I hear this song, and it brings me back to a simpler time, when I was young and naive, and listen to love songs just because they sound good and the stories they convey says something abstract yet beautiful to me.

Emotions are usually pure, and relationships are usually uncomplicated. Songs does not tell you the practical barriers in relationships and they simply tell you everything will be fine as long as you have the heart to deal with your relationship.... easy to say...

But the songs are still nevertheless priceless and invaluable.

I heard this song when I was 12, saw those guys on MTV being showered stupid by rain. I think BackstreetBoys follow suit for their I will never break your heart MTV, and did very stupid poses in there too (I realized how stupid they were a very good 7 years after the song was released and my housemate was still screaming over those videos).

I like the guitar in the prelude. I like it when they the first line pops out of the background music. I like it when he says it is good time to give up. The sight of a cup of lipstick mark. So how long does a person out of your life linger? Do you hear the man's regret when he says he does not mean the stuff he said? Seeing the one you love excel after being free?

The man is heartbroken...

Let's hear it!

I guess now it's time for me to give up
I feel it's time
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now

Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

Unaware but underlined I figured out the story
It wasn't good
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory
But that was not to be
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free
Can't you find a little room inside for me

Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

And we'll be together, this time is forever
We'll be fighting and forever we will be
So complete in our love
We will never be uncovered again

I heard this song when I was 12, saw those guys on MTV being showered stupid by rain. I think BackstreetBoys follow suit for their I will never break your heart MTV, and did very stupid poses in there too (I realized how stupid they were a very good 7 years after the song was released and my housemate was still screaming over those videos).

I like the guitar in the prelude. I like it when they the first line pops out of the background music. I like it when he says it is good time to give up. The sight of a cup of lipstick mark. So how long does a person out of your life linger? Do you hear the man's regret when he says he does not mean the stuff he said? Seeing the one you love excel after being free?

The man is heartbroken...

Let's hear it!

I guess now it's time for me to give up
I feel it's time
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now

Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

Unaware but underlined I figured out the story
It wasn't good
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory
But that was not to be
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free
Can't you find a little room inside for me

Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

And we'll be together, this time is forever
We'll be fighting and forever we will be
So complete in our love
We will never be uncovered again

YipYapping about CARING

As civilization progress, some people are left behind.

And we see these people left behind sometimes end up on the street.

Life was simple. In human history, the way of living never advanced this quickly.

So new rules of survival came into play.

Corporates did not appeared until 1600. And after that, way of living changed for all people.

Those who refused to change, got left behind and was left with little resources.

Long time ago, people like me, who does not know how to farm or make a chair or kill a pig, would never get rich unless I go into government (or kingdom beauracracy).

But after industrial revolution, the situation reversed.

So, what if, the base of the industrial revolution is cut off. And what if we were forced to live the way our ancestors from many centuries ago lived.

And what if, one day, our nature starts to fight back to our ever pounding on it since industrial revolution. What if, one day, the force that has driven this industrial civilization forward, Energy, is cut off.

What if one day, when all those left behind grow into a significant population and was fed up by others who over-uses their share of resources on this planet. Riot results? Violence everywhere?

If we just keep focusing on ourselves and feed our needs, but not to care about other people's needs by looking at what they want and deserve, or maybe fill their needs to be respected and being taken care of, we may very well bring doom to ourselves. If we just keep focusing on ourselves and feed our needs, but not to care about Mother Nature's by looking at what the planet need, or maybe fill nature's needs to be balanced in all its elements, we may very well bring doom to ourselves, too.

L-O-V-E quoting MJ

I guess I am touched...

Daniel Pinks talk on Motivation

http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html


Autonomy

Mastery

Purpose

FIRST ONE OF OUR OWN

Hey just wanna say congratulations on getting married.

You are the first one of our own to step into the life after "singlehood", and I am freaking jealous that you have found the one you would want to spend the rest of ur life with :). I wish I had one right now by my side. The one who I want now refuse to talk me and is avoiding my contact too, and I think I am fine with it, coz I never knew how to treat a lady I suppose. There has been many reported incidents lately that I insulted great women friends lately. And with your card saying I need to tone down "manhood", I think I started to understand more about myself. And all of a sudden I don't feel so good about my conducts.

A coworker once told me that my mouth is as sharp as a knife, but my heart is as soft as a jelly. And with this "characteristics" of me, I hurt people who are closest to me the most. Guys might be fine with my constant mocking and teasing (as long as they have the ability to fight back), girls can't. And with that attitude of me, I probably hurt the one girl who were closet to me, and I don't even realize it. And to think I hurt someone I love that frequent, I bled in my heart.

So I vow to myself to be a warmer person, and to be a better and more responsible man, to both my duties as a person and my emotions. And I thank you for helping me realize this. I hope I can still fight my way back to get that girl. And to realize that I could become a better person and had a shot (so far no progress whatsoever) at someone (and probably the only one) with whom I would ever fall in love actually put more meaning in my life not only on the personal scale but my sense of purpose in my life.

You have been a great friend. You are always thoughtful for people around you and put others comforts before yours. That is some quality you rarely see these day. I feel super blessed to have met you so early in my life: to learn from you, to grow with you, and to be happy for you on your BIG BIG day tomorrow.

加油!!

CONGRATULATIONS